When you explain FIFO swings to kids, the hardest part is often not finding the right definition. It is answering the feeling underneath their questions: When will Mum or Dad be home? Will they miss me? Who will tuck me in? For a child, a roster can feel like a big, confusing change that keeps happening. Clear words, familiar routines and permission to feel every feeling can make that change feel less lonely.
FIFO work supports many Australian families. A parent may fly to a mine site, an offshore job or a remote work location for a set period, then come home for their break. Like deployments, exercises and shift work, it asks children to adjust to a parent being deeply loved and temporarily absent at the same time.
Start with a simple explanation of FIFO work
Young children do not need every detail about a job site, travel arrangements or adult pressures. They need a truthful explanation they can understand and repeat back when they are worried. Try something like: “Dad works away for several sleeps, then he flies home for several sleeps. While he is at work, I will be here with you, and we will look after each other.”
For preschool-aged children, keep language concrete. “Three more sleeps” is often easier to grasp than “next Wednesday”. A visual calendar with pictures of planes, work boots and home days can help them see that the separation has a beginning, middle and end.
Primary-school children may want a little more information. You might say, “Mum works on a roster. Her job helps provide for our family, and she has to stay at work for the whole swing. She cannot come home every night, but she is still your mum and she is thinking about you.” If their work is in a place with limited mobile reception, explain this before a missed call causes worry.
Avoid promises you cannot control, such as saying a parent will ring at exactly the same time every night. Flights, long shifts, weather, fatigue and reception can change a plan. Instead, offer a reliable message: “We will try to talk when we can. If we cannot talk today, it is not because you have done anything wrong or because Mum does not want to talk.”
Explain FIFO swings to kids without making them responsible
Children often notice more than adults expect. They may hear conversations about packing, money, delays or how tired everyone feels. Some will try to be extra good, hide their sadness or take on little jobs because they think it will make the absent parent come home sooner.
Gently tell them the grown-ups are responsible for the grown-up parts. “Your job is to be a kid: to learn, play, tell us how you feel and let us care for you.” This is especially important when the parent at home is carrying more of the household load. Children can help with ordinary family tasks, but they should not feel they need to hold the family together.
It also helps to name the two truths that can sit side by side. A child can be proud of their parent’s work and still hate saying goodbye. They can enjoy special time with the parent who is home and still wish the other parent was there. There is no need to talk them out of either feeling.
You could say, “It makes sense that you feel cross about the swing. You love having Dad here.” Naming the feeling does not make it bigger. It tells your child that their inner world is safe to share.
Use a routine your child can see
A roster calendar is useful, but connection works best when it is woven into everyday life. Choose a few small rituals that suit your family rather than trying to create a perfect routine.
A parent working away might record a short bedtime story, leave a note in a lunchbox or send a photo of something ordinary from their day. At home, your child could draw a picture, keep a small notebook of news to share or choose one favourite thing to tell their parent on the next call. A soft toy, cap or shirt that smells like the away parent can be comforting for some children, particularly at bedtime.
Keep these rituals flexible. A child who is happy to video call one swing may refuse the next, especially if calls make the goodbye feel fresh. Offer, do not pressure. They might prefer a voice message, a quick goodnight photo or simply knowing a message will be waiting when their parent is free.
Make departures calm, clear and kind
Goodbyes can bring big feelings, so it is tempting to leave quietly while a child is distracted. For most children, however, a short, honest goodbye builds more trust than discovering their parent has gone.
Keep the farewell steady rather than stretching it out. Remind your child when the parent is expected home in language they understand, say what will happen next, and share a familiar goodbye phrase. “I love you all the way to work and all the way home” may become a comforting family saying.
If tears come, let them. A calm adult can say, “You are sad because you want Mum to stay. I understand. We can have a cuddle, then we will make breakfast together.” The aim is not to make sadness disappear before the car leaves. It is to show your child that sadness is survivable and that caring adults remain close.
After a departure, plan one ordinary, grounding activity: a trip to the park, baking, a favourite book, kicking a footy in the yard or calling a trusted grandparent. It need not be an expensive distraction. Predictability is what helps children settle.
Prepare for homecoming as well
Home days can be joyful, but they are still a transition. The away parent may be tired from travel, and children may be excited, clingy, shy or unexpectedly upset. Younger children sometimes need time to warm up again, even when they have spoken regularly. This is not rejection. It is their way of adjusting.
Keep expectations gentle for the first day home. Rather than planning a packed outing, allow space for a cuddle, a shared meal and familiar play. The parent returning can step back into routines gradually, especially around bedtime or discipline. Consistency between adults helps children feel secure, but no family manages it perfectly.
It can also help to protect a little one-on-one time with each child. A simple walk, a board game or reading together says, “I am back, and I am here with you.”
Watch for signs your child needs more support
Big feelings are a normal response to separation and change. They may show up as tears, tantrums, tummy aches, clinginess, trouble sleeping or a return to habits they had grown out of. Children do not always have the words to say, “I am worried.”
Pay closer attention if these changes are intense, continue for several weeks, affect school or friendships, or if your child seems withdrawn and unable to enjoy things they usually like. Start with a quiet chat and let their teacher or early learning educator know that a parent is away. Your GP or a child mental health professional can offer further support when needed. Reaching out is a caring response, not a sign that you have failed.
Keep the conversation open between swings
FIFO family life can change with a new roster, a delayed flight or a longer-than-expected time away. Check in regularly instead of waiting for a difficult moment. Questions such as “What is the hardest bit when Mum is at work?” or “What helps you feel close to Dad?” invite a real answer without putting pressure on your child to be cheerful.
You may not always know what to say. A sincere “I can see this is hard, and we will get through today together” is often more helpful than trying to solve everything. Children draw confidence from being heard, from knowing what comes next where possible, and from seeing that love does not disappear when a parent boards a plane.
Every FIFO family finds its own rhythm. What matters most is not a flawless countdown chart or a perfectly cheerful goodbye. It is the steady message your child receives, again and again: you are unconditionally loved, your feelings matter, and there is always a caring grown-up beside you while you wait for home days.